COPYRIGHT © by LOVELINKUP.NET, and J. Joe Clemons 2004, 2007.  

  Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin and Attract The Woman of Your Dreams.

  This a series of articles about attracting hot women and your self-esteem and self-confidence.

  Men there are many ways to attract and keep the woman you want: Take action, be very well groomed, be a good dresser right down to your socks, work on that smile, keep your smiling teeth white, learn how to be a master flirt, learn more about asking questions and making less statements, be a better listener, prove to her that you are listening, do not use a fragrance when you are on the hunt before the first date; when you do go very light and only on one place on your neck.  Click Here.  and be a master of all of these traits and skills.

  To see articles on flirting Click Here.

   But, to be successful at any of this you need to be comfortable in your own skin. Your attitude toward yourself is your self-esteem. Self-esteem is not the same as self-confidence; understanding the difference is important if you are going to get comfortable in your own skin.

  Self-esteem is not a thing - it is a process.

  Self-esteem is not fixed - it is dynamic.

  The word esteem means value. Self-esteem is how we value ourselves and we are constantly valuing, judging or discounting ourselves. Negative self-talk is an example of judging or discounting:  "I'll never get good at this,"  "I'm not good looking."

  To flirt successfully, you need to stop discounting and start accepting yourself unconditionally.

  Self-confidence, on the other hand, is not about who you are. It's about what you can do. There are things you do well and things you may not have mastered (such as flirting). Your self-confidence is an assessment of your skills in certain areas of life.

  If you have the belief "there is not failure-only feedback," then you can stop making harsh judgments about yourself. By not making judgments you leave yourself open to learning and to getting better at those things you have yet to master. When viewed in this light you can develop and build your self-confidence and your flirting skills without affecting your self-esteem.

  When you like yourself and are comfortable with who you are, you will relate to other people in a more appealing way. You'll appear quietly confident rather than looking as though you are trying to get your needs met by others. There are some people, however, who just don't get the difference between confidence and arrogance. For flirting you need to get this - confidence is good, arrogance is not.

  Now you may never have been to Spain and can't speak Spanish, but if you're happy to book a plane ticket, fly to Madrid, catch a taxi to a hotel and then find your way to anywhere in the city - that's self-confidence. Sure, you might get lost but you would be resourceful and buy a map and find your way, wouldn you not?

  Everyone has areas in which they feel very confident.  We are guessing you feel reasonably confident you can tie your shoelaces, brush your teeth and dress yourself. There are many things you do with confidence that you didn't always do. As our fingers fly over the keyboard working on this book we can both remember a time when neither of us felt confident turning on a computer, let alone using one to write books, balance a checkbook, or bank online.

  You might not yet feel hugely confident about going out there and flirting but you may feel really confident about who you are and the things you have already mastered. From experience you should be confident that if it can be learned you can learn it - whatever it is, it just takes information, practice and attitude. The confident approach is to say, "If someone else can do it, I can do it and I am going to have some fun learning." So take that attitude and wear it. Wear it in the way you stand, sit, breathe, and walk.

  To be a confident flirt and to be in the "go for it" mood, you must let go of any past hurts and rejections. If you project any of your previous baggage, it will block your flirting success.

  Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem. CLICK HERE    

   Go to the For Men Only  page every week to see if there is something new.